Unexpected Lessons From Being Laid Off

The Importance of Gratitude, Vulnerability, and Connection in Difficult Times

If you follow me on LinkedIn, you might have seen my viral post about being laid off. After nearly four years as the Chief Learning Officer at ChenMed, they made the unexpected decision to eliminate my position. Candidly, it’s been a rollercoaster, but one I’m not alone on, which is why I made a video and this article to share my experience.

I talk a lot about the current job and economic uncertainty in my content, but suddenly, everything I’ve been discussing became my personal reality. The additional time has left me reflecting on what this means, not just for me, but for anyone who’s been affected by similar changes. The feelings are real, and they’re intense. Whether you’ve lost your job or are left grappling with the uncertainty of staying behind, the impact is profound.

What hit me hardest was how easy it is to fall into the trap of isolating. There is immense pressure to present a strong front, especially as a public persona or in a senior role. This creates added pressure to dip into the shadows when reality doesn’t match, only to emerge once you’ve returned to a position of strength. However, I’ve been intentional about not caving to the pressure and being open and vulnerable about my moment of weakness. To my surprise, the support I’ve received has reminded me of the power of vulnerability and connection during tough times.

So, as part of my experience, I wanted to share some reflections—both the challenges and opportunities that come with it. My hope is that by being open about my journey, I can encourage others going through similar struggles. Because in the end, it’s not about hiding our pain; it’s about facing it together, with honesty and grace.

Key Takeaways

“You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond.”

I’ve experienced all the emotions you’d expect—shock, frustration, and uncertainty about what the future holds. I say that as if it’s in the past, but it’s still very much in the present. It’s intuitive to focus on what you’ve lost in moments like these. However, amidst it all, I made an intentional choice of gratitude. Now, that didn’t come easy and certainly wasn’t my emotional response—far from it. But I’ve learned over the years you can train yourself to focus on what you’ve gained rather than what you’ve lost. For me, that meant shifting my attention to the experiences I’ve had and the relationships I’ve built during my time, things that can’t be taken. Choosing gratitude has changed the tone of my experience. Instead of being consumed by what’s gone, I’m filled with appreciation for what I still have. While it hasn’t fixed everything, this shift in perspective has allowed me to navigate the transition with a sense of peace and positivity, even in the midst of uncertainty.

“You’re not alone—vulnerability turns isolation into connection.”

There’s tremendous pressure, especially in moments like this, to put on a brave face and pretend everything is fine. We often try to maintain a veneer of strength, to show everyone we’ve got it all together despite crumbling inside. However, I’ve learned that vulnerability is far more powerful than pretending. It wasn’t easy to be open about how I was really feeling. I wrestled with the fear of judgment or appearing weak. But by allowing myself to be vulnerable, I discovered I wasn’t alone—not by a long shot. The outpouring of support was overwhelming, not just from others who lost their jobs, but those who were left behind. It highlighted how much of a shared struggle this really is. Whether you’re the one losing your job or the one left to clean up the mess, the emotional toll is real and it’s heavy. However, being vulnerable reminded me that we’re all in this together. There’s a shared sense of uncertainty, of wrestling with emotions, and of trying to figure out what’s next together. It’s in those connections, in that shared experience, we can find strength to keep moving forward.

“Work can disappear in an instant. Invest in what truly matters.”

Job security is an illusion. I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve talked to who, even in what seemed like the most stable situations, found themselves out of work. It’s a stark reminder that no matter how secure we think we are, things can and do change in an instant. King Solomon said it best when he said it’s all vapor. Interestingly, the people who have reached out to share kind and encouraging words never mention specific tasks or projects I was involved with. What they describe is consistently how I did the work or treated the people around me. This has been a powerful reminder that what truly matters isn’t the work itself, but the relationships we build and the way we behave. This should be a cautionary tale on why we should never put our identity in the execution of our work, especially at the expense of others. At the end of the day, the quality of our relationships and how we approach our work are the only things that live on. With enough time, even your most prominent projects and accomplishments will be forgotten.

“The best time to prepare for change is before it happens.”

It’s easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day grind, you don’t take the time to build connections and stay engaged outside of your immediate role. However, missing this makes things a lot harder when change inevitably comes. Staying active, whether through my content, prioritizing virtual coffees, or casually keeping in touch with people, has already paid dividends. It’s a commitment, no doubt about it. There are days it’d be easy to skip a conversation or let a connection slip, but I’ve made it a priority to stay connected. Fortunately, by not waiting to build relationships and stay involved, this shift doesn’t feel overwhelming or awkward. I’m simply turning up the volume on the music that was already playing. It’s a reminder that while easier to stay heads down, investing time in people and staying engaged in your industry is worth it.

Concluding Thoughts

As I finish writing this, I’ll be honest—I still am not sure what’s next. I don’t even know when I’ll have those answers, which is a really vulnerable place to be. I can’t neatly wrap this up with a bow and am constantly wrestling with the full spectrum of emotions. There are good days when I feel optimistic and energized and really hard days when the uncertainty feels overwhelming.

However, through it all, I keep coming back to the wisdom of Matthew 6:33-34: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” These verses have been a consistent source of comfort and guidance during my transition. They remind me to focus on what I can do today and trust that things will ultimately work out in the end if I keep my priorities in check.

That said, it’s forced me to re-evaluate my definition of what I need to God’s, and that’s not an easy process. However, I’m finding it’s a necessary one. One that helps me to stay grounded, to appreciate what I have, and to maintain a perspective that goes far beyond my immediate circumstances.

So as I move forward, I’m choosing to trust, to stay focused on the present, and to be open to where this path leads. I’m thankful for the relationships and experiences that have brought me to this point, and I’m confident that whatever comes next, it will be part of a larger plan that’s still unfolding. So, for anyone else who’s going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. I may not have all the answers, but we can walk this path together, supporting one another along the way.